Wow! Another year coming to the end.
This year was intensely lived, I might add. Worked hard and played even harder! And here we are approaching the final week of 2017.
What do you see when you look back? Are you satisfied with what you did? Do you feel you’re a better human than this time last year? Do you feel you’ve contributed to a better society? Or do you feel, another year that you remained in the same place? Just going along with what’s expected of you?…
I had a recent bookclub meeting with some of my work colleagues in where the discussion was about, to sum it up, being able to say no. Doing what you really feel passionate about and not what’s expected of you. Say “Yes” only to things, to people, to events that you really connect with. But many of you might be thinking… Yes, but that’s easier said than done. And you might be right. To a certain extent it’s difficult but not impossible. We live in a society, work and live with other people, so obviously there are social expectations and we can’t just do what we want. Or if so, well, we’ll have to accept the outcome. In any case, we all have choices, I say it all the time, some choices can be selfishly made, they are in their essence related to you, others might be a bit more difficult. It’s your choice to make a choice.
What can you can say “No” to?
Only you can answer this. But it might be really good for you to actually analyse it, make a list and start prioritising on what’s really important. When you do this, you start leaving your heavy load behind and start feeling much more satisfaction in everything that you actually do.
For example, this time of year is for many people the worse time. They have to meet with family that they really don’t want to be with. Most of us, work, are professionals and sometimes it’s difficult to say “No” in the workplace, that can be another post, but you can start to say “No” within your personal like. I think if we feel we need to make changes in our presence here on earth, we should start with ourself, personal things, things that we have “more” power over or control, which are in our personal life, and then move on to other areas. So choosing to be with people, is our choice. Family on the other hand might be a bit more difficult for some of us to say no to, you might say. But when you really think about it, it’s not the others that matter, it’s you. It’s how you feel towards things, your perspective, perception and even the culture you were brought up in that creates a reaction. We can’t change anyone else but ourself. This is the beginning of it all. Stop trying to change other people. It won’t work and both parts will come to the conclusion that you’re both frustrated, one because they aren’t able to get what they want and the other because they’ve been doing things “kinda” against their will and are totally fed up. So if others want something, which for you, from deep within you, doesn’t create happiness, doesn’t give you a good feeling, doesn’t resonate with you, Why do it? Some might say they “have to”, I personally feel I “have to” go to work (but I love it anyway) because I need to support my comfortable lifestyle. Going, for example, to a Christmas dinner with family that you don’t want to be with, is not a “have to” thing. If you truly believe your reasons, trust your deep feelings, others will accept it (might not like it, but that’s really their own problem not yours) and most important, they’ll respect you for your honesty.
Like that quote;
“Those that matter don’t mind and
Those that mind don’t matter!”
Believe me when I tell you that I have created some enemies, well, I would say more like strangers, within the family. Disapproval and criticism equals no connection and loss of contact. However, I might have lost something, but if it’s something that does not contribute to my peacefulness and wellbeing, I’ve really lost nothing! I have however, created a much stressless life for myself and as expected, the reflection is a much happier human being and living environment.
I chose this song, because it really has an amazing message, and it’s a great tune. “Heavy” from a band called Birdtalker, and btw half of the inspiration for this post, this time of the year the other half. Moving on, in general most people fear being alone, being left out or not being a part of something and thus putting up with things that with time just hold them down, a heaviness that prevents our wings from unfolding and flying. So many of us even in crowds feel lonely. Don’t mistake being alone and being lonely. I feel and am happy when I’m alone, doing solo stuff, I actually love it. I’m happy with my own person, my own company, of course I love meeting, being with and socialising with other people, however, my happiness doesn’t come from them it comes from within me. It comes from trusting and listening to myself, connecting with my deepest feelings. Being true to myself above all. We need to love ourselves, inside and out, accept how we are, including physical flaws, the ones in the eyes of society. Obviously, as long as we aren’t harming anyone… it’s our life, it’s our business and as a good friend of mine usually says “Ninguém manda em mim!”, translating to “Nobody tells me what to do!”
Learn to say “No” and create your boundaries.
The Flower of Life, circles, wholes, interlaced/interconnected with each other. I can interpret this, as the need for individuality being the centre, the core necessity but at the same time the need for community, obviously because I don’t live alone on a deserted island, and this represented by the interlacing circles, thus connecting as all as “One”.
So, take this time of the year to analyse your life, yourself. If you realise that you aren’t happy with the life you have been so miraculously given, it’s probably a good clue to make a change and take some action. Take a trip to your dark side, face your fears and look at what you can do to start shedding off what’s heavy in your life. Every day you wake up, is another chance for you to make an improvement on yourself, an improvement as a human, which in turn will reflect itself around you, creating a positive ripple effect.
One last extremely important thing, remember that “Love”, purity, true essence must always be at the foundation of every thought and every action.
Learn to respect and trust yourself. Be “You” without fear!
If you’re lost and you’re lonely, go and figure out why. Take a trip to your dark side, go on and have a good cry, cause we’re all lonely… we’re all lonely together! I want to see your sadness, I want to share your sin, I want to bleed your blood, and I want to be let in. Don’t you just, don’t we all just wanna be together? Leave what’s heavy, what’s heavy behind. Leave what’s heavy, what’s heavy behind. If your face is down, Oh take a look around.
Do your fingers move? Do your lungs inflate? Are you tired are you weary of the hidden hate you’ve been holding? Heyyyyyy, did you lose that love? Or have you never had it? Are you feeling sad cause you did a bad thing?
Hey Hey Heyyyyyy leave what’s heavy, what’s heavy behind. Leave what’s heavy, what’s heavy behind. Are you feeling fearful brother? Are you feeling fearful sister? The only way to lose that fearful feeling, replace it with love that’s healing. Are you feeling fearful brother?Are you feeling fearful sister?
Leave what’s heavy, what’s heavy behind…
Be true to yourself when you stand in front of the mirror… and take it from there!